nightingale

i intai.

sister gemuk tak balik lagi. its almost 10p.m. i was like, i know you don't have husband. or at least, a scandal. but seriously, you dont really have life jugak? you got to be kidding me sistah. tu yang gajah tu.

bukannya ada kerja sangat pun. saja nak cari salah orang stay lama-lama. selalu i nampak dia tesengguk-sengguk. teringat kata dapat offer pegi Saudi kerja. mungkin Tanah Haram tak terima. so that story sangat la basi. so last year. tak pergi2 pun.

i don't really feel tired. but i rimas. rambut elok-elok bau vanilla, yang slalu anneh kedai florist kat Ground Floor selalu puji, dah bau dishwater. rambut di kepala ya. you jangan nak rape i dalam kepala you, macam Abang Dollah always did.

i tak jumpa my sister, Marissa, today. she didn't call or text. but i nampak bejalan je tweet nya. itu tanda dia belum mati. syukur. malam ni pun tak call mama lagi...

"MARKISA! ape ke menung tu!"

sial Kak Ros. hah kan dah mencarut. Kak Ros senior staff nurse. cantik. ada eye bag pun cantik. boobies dia sexy. umur dah 40-an. i wish i possessed such boobs. boobs i ala-ala je. sangat tak besyukur kan? skali kena unilateral mastectomy, baru nak nanges "pulangkan tetek i pleaseee". kann.

"takde ape la Kak Ros. Kisa bosan"

"tu patient room 312 ring the bell. akak annoying denga, ko boleh tak prasan"

ugh. uncle bilik 312. every half an hour main loceng. mintak air la. mintak urinal la. nasib baik tak mintak apam balik ke, mengidam kuih akok ke.

operation hidung je kut. buat nosejob. lelaki obsess dekat kesantekkan. i tengok pre-operation, takde apa fault or impairment pun. gatal nak buat hidung. now bengkak macam babi tonyok i tengok. lelaki tak buat nosejob ya. hanya blowjob. kalau tak, bukan lelaki.

"Misi, i tak jumpa remote tv la. susah nak tidur. bising."

i nampak ada je remote sebelah flask air. hidden.

"ok encik. biar saya settle"

i cabut plug tv. gelap terus bilik. uncle tu diam.

"goodnight uncle"

harap tak main loceng dah lepasni.

i miss the pasar malam again tonight. mengidam lompat tikam. sampai mimpi Marissa makan sorang-sorang depan i. i wish she choked and die, at that very moment. i just miss my sister.

i dudk balik depan PC nurse counter. PC ni je boleh bukak facebook. merewang carik "Pengganti". haih. comel-comel semua gayboy. macho-macho semua suami orang. kaya-kaya semua tua kutuk.

"Kisa, akak nak bongkang sekejap dalam pantry. ko cover sikit akak eh. Materon Badak dah balik"

Kak Ros nampak penat. "go lah Kak. Kisa tak ngantuk"

its half pass midnight.

i still tak kira lagi drug stock dalam DDA store. i take off my socks, tie up my hair, wash my face. i need a haircut. but i love my long hair.

i nampak SN Kavitha keluar masuk room 317. uncle singh umur 98. "tak jalan lagi orang tua ni" dalam hati. singh susah nak mati. panjang umur. i wonder why. nak becakap pun susah, ape lagi nak makan. pity him. i pray to god, bukan mintak umur panjang, tapi sihat, lepastu terus mati. tak sakit. boleh?

3 night nurse handling 10 rooms. buruh kasar sangat i. i took vitagen dalam fridge pantry. i nampak Kak Ros dah tegolek atas sofa. baju Kak Ros tesingkat. nampak pusat dengan tali spender pink. i think its just La Senza. teringat promotion bra and panties 2 pair for RM100. tetiba. i cover her with blanket. bedengkur Kak Ros.

sedut-sedut vitagen malam-malam. i dont feel like eating. i end up my syif at 3pm tomorrow. i might gona cook something. ajak mama pergi Tesco. beli prawns.

Dr Azam MO oncall malam ni. muda. richass. tapi dah agak pulau kat kepala. i tak taste. kurang testosterone perhaps.

Love, MarkisaImran